February's Update

It's been about two months since my last update, and things are going great. Better than great really. 

We have had a couple of busy and exciting months. Christmas has come and gone and I did really great, though I was worried with it being my first post-surgery Christmas dinner. 

(Well, dinners. We have a big family.)

A month after Christmas I had the honor of being the matron of honor, as well as wedding officiant, at my best friend's wedding. It was such a perfect and emotional day. The day of her wedding also marked one year of being soda AND caffeine free. Addiction is such a bitch, whether it's alcohol, drugs, food, or something else. I'm proof that you can beat addiction though and while it seems silly to some people, I'm proud to say that I beat my addiction and that I've never looked back. 

I think it's kind of crazy that even though I haven't lost that much weight during the fall I still manage to look different. I can definitely tell that things are shifting. It can be frustrating at times. I've been hearing for almost a year now that you can tell that I've lost weight and how great I look, etc etc. For the longest time I couldn't see it. There are days when I still cannot see it, and I'm down around a total of 115 pounds. (Depending on which scale I use, haha.) When I put two pictures side by side though, I can definitely tell. These two pictures were taken about 18 months apart, with the one on the left being from just two weeks ago. Huge difference right?! Also, my kids are growing so fast! 

A friend from school recently contacted me on Facebook and told me that she had started her very own weight loss surgery journey. Like me, she has struggled with her weight for years. She's read my blog and knows what I've gone through. She knows what she is getting herself in to; the good, the bad and the ugly. She's having the surgery for all the right reasons, and I am so excited for her and I wish her loads of luck and success.

I really am amazed at how far I've come this past year. On Valentine's Day last year I my appointment for my psychological exam. I was so nervous! It was the most nerve wracking experience because if he said I was crazy I wouldn't be approved to have the surgery. After several hours of mini panic attacks and sweaty palms, I was told that I was 'boring and completely sane'. (And yes, I do have the paperwork stating this. Maybe I should frame it.) 

This Valentine's Day I'm still just as nervous about the future, but for good reason. 

My kids have a special message for everyone.

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Yes, you read that right! We're having another baby! I know what a lot of people are probably thinking. I've talked to my weight loss surgeon and my OB and they both wish us nothing but the best. My weight loss surgery shouldn't interfere with a pregnancy at all according to my doctors. (I'm considered high risk, but not because of the WLS. I have a history of having big babies and have had two c/sections.) We are going to monitor the baby's size throughout the pregnancy, and I'm really hoping that since I don't have the food addiction like I did for the other pregnancies, I'm hoping to birth a baby that isn't well over 10 pounds. My kids are absolutely thrilled with the news, and they're both already coming up with names and asking when the baby will be able to come out and play. 

It's looking like 2013 is going to be an even more exciting year than 2012. :)

Small Victories

I know that I haven't posted in what seems like FOREVER, but I've been busy. My two little munchkins are a handful (and really, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love those stinkers.)

About two weeks ago I went to my doctor for my 9 month post-op check. For the last few months I've been stuck on this plateau and while I'm not gaining, I'm definitely not losing. It's been interesting seeing how my body has changed and adapted to this weight loss. My doctor assured me that I am doing great, and that what I've experienced is totally normal. So whew, that made me feel a ton better. I go back in March for my one year check (seriously, cannot believe it's been nearly that long!) and while I'm hoping to lose a bit of weight before then, I know if the scale doesn't budge, it's still considered normal. My doctor keeps telling me that I lost in 6 months what most people lose in the first year. So yeah, I'm doing fantastic.

Yesterday was Christmas and we've been to a few family get togethers, which in our family, involves a ton of awesome food. I may or may not (okay, I did) eat more than I planned on yesterday. We were at my mom's house for about 9 hours and the food there is always the best. I was afraid to step on the scale this morning (why torture yourself like that, haha) but to my surprise when I stepped on the scale this morning (after I had slept on and off for about 10 hours) I was actually four pounds LESS than I was yesterday morning! I'm sure it was some kind of fluke, though I did weigh myself several times and still got the same number. I'm still going to claim it as a small victory.

Oh, and one final tooting of my own horn. Today marks ELEVEN months of being soda and caffeine free!! I remember eleven months ago thinking that giving up soda and caffeine was going to be the biggest challenge for me in this whole weight loss surgery journey, but I've surprised myself. When I stopped drinking the crap, I never got that nasty migraine that everyone talks about, and honestly, I don't even miss the stuff. Okay, that's a fib. There are times when I miss the caffeine (like I said, I'm trying to keep up with two young kids! but I have a vitamin B-12 deficiency and I do monthly injections. They help with the lack of energy issue. I'm super proud of myself!

Stuck

It's been almost a month since my last post. I'm still stuck on this plateau. It's frustrating and discouraging, but all of my doctors have said it's very normal. In the meantime I just try to stay positive and eat the foods I'm supposed to be eating, and drinking my weight in water (a slight exaggeration). It's not all bad news though. Since I've had such a drastic weight loss, I find myself freezing cold. 100+ pounds ago I didn't even hardly need to wear a winter coat because I was so warm. Well I broke down and bought a new coat. It arrived today and I tried it on and it's almost too big! I don't think I'll exchange it for another size because I just hate to have that one be too small and then I'm still freezing my butt off. I love the coat though. :)

Glee and 6 month post-op

One of my favorite TV shows is Glee. It's kind of silly I know as I'm not a teenage girl. I'm an almost thirty year old wife and mom to two kids. It's a show about love sick teenagers singing silly songs. (Okay, maybe there's a bit more to it.) Anyway, I love the show. It's a guilty pleasure. The fourth season of Glee started this past Thursday, and of course, I watched it. I cried. It really hit home for me.
POSSIBLE SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
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There's a new female student character, Marley. She has an amazing voice and wants to audition for Glee Club, but is nervous/scared/etc. One of the reasons behind this is because of her mother. Her mom is nothing but supportive, but her mother is overweight. In fact, she's beyond overweight. Severe morbid obesity is a better description. Marley's mom is a lunch lady at McKinley High, and while in the cafeteria, she overhears other students making fun of her mom for being overweight. Her mom would drop her off for school a couple blocks away so they didn't have to be seen together. Marley was not embarrassed or ashamed of her mom, but it was more the mom not wanting to put her daughter in a position where it would be easier for feelings to get hurt.

Like I said, it just really hit home for me. My kids are young (6 and 3) but kids these days are jerks and will make fun of another kid for nearly any reason. I never wanted to be 'the fat mom'. I would feel so horrible if my children were made fun of because of something that they had absolutely no control over. This has always been a fear of mine, and while they have never been teased or bullied because of my weight, yet, it was just a matter of time. When I stopped and thought about it, I just felt even more confident in my decision to have weight loss surgery. I know my kids will be teased and bullied one day, but I hope it's never for having 'the fat mom'. I'll never be a skinny mini, but if you knew me before my surgery and now after, you know how far I've come.

About a week and a half ago, I had my six month post-op check. Yes, six months! A half year! I cannot believe it's been that long already! My doctor seemed to be impressed with how far I've come. I was officially down 111 pounds since my pre-consultation appointment at the end of January. I hate that I'm still on this plateau but I know once I crack down on eating junk food and start exercising more I can lose even more weight by my nine month appointment in December. My blood pressure was perfect and I don't ever have any big problems besides drinking too soon after I finish eating. Old habits are hard to break, but I have to try to be more aware about it. It just leaves me with this real heavy feeling in my stomach for about 15 minutes or so. It's even worse when I drink something with refined sugar so soon after eating. It's something only I can control, and I just have to make sure I'm more careful. I did have a couple concerns that I brought up with my surgeon, but he told me it's something more for my primary doctor. Since it's not *THAT* big of deal, I guess I'll just wait until I have to go back in. I'm very happy with the progress I've made and all the success I've had. Shoot, a couple weeks ago I ordered some new shirts and by the time they arrived they were nearly too big!! I'm still going to wear them because I have hardly any clothes right now, but I know I won't be in them long. It kind of stinks because my best friend is getting married in January and I cannot wait to go dress shopping but since I have NO idea what size I'll be then, I don't dare buy anything yet.

Speaking of weddings, this weekend my brother in law and his girlfriend got married (and I officiated! I was so honored that they asked me too. AND I'll be officiating at my friend's wedding in January! Gives me warm fuzzies to know that people want me to be a part of their most special day.) It was so  wonderful because at the reception, I was able to dance and dance and not break out in this huge sweat like I normally would. Now my goal is to start working out and get totally ripped by the time Jeanne's wedding rolls around, so I can dance my ass off all night! Okay, I kid. But I do need to work out. The weight loss from the surgery and eating right can only get you so far. I really need to get my arms toned, and I'd like to do my legs as well. And you'll see in the picture below that I cropped it at my waist because that needs some work too.

I love this picture though. My husband and I didn't dance together at our wedding eight years ago and since having kids, we haven't been able to slow dance when we've gone to weddings. We actually managed to dance one song at his brother's wedding. And after nearly twelve years of being together, I think we have 'our song'. In My Life, by the Beatles.

Though I know I'll never lose affection 

For people and things that went before 

I know I'll often stop and think about them 

In my life I love you more 

(Huge thanks to our six year old daughter for getting this shot of us!)

Yay

My husband and I have been trying to move some of our bedrooms around lately, and while cleaning out one room, I stumbled upon my wedding dress. For giggles, I tried it on. I thought I might be able to squeeze in to it and have it fit maybe okay. In fact, I told my husband that maybe for our anniversary in October we could wear our wedding clothes and have some pictures taken with the kids. Imagine my surprise when it ended up being too big! 

Support Group

I decided to go to the monthly support group tonight. Overall, it went pretty well. I'm not really at liberty to talk about much because there's this 'what happens in support group, stays in support group' rule. We had a dietitian/nutritionist come in as the guest speaker. It was nice to listen to her talk, and kind of reminded me that everyone is so different in their surgery journey so just because my body can't handle a particular food right now, there's nothing wrong with me. The general consensus of the group was that everyone is so different so just because someone can handle a certain food, not everyone who had that surgery can. Just because I can't handle a certain food doesn't mean that someone else won't be able to stomach it. (No pun intended, haha.) Seems like we all agree that pasta and breads are the devil however.

Speaking of, I tried bread for the first time a couple weeks ago. I really wanted an egg salad sandwich and my ever supportive husband made some while I ran our yard sale. I got one slice of bread and even toasted it. I figured if I can handle tortilla chips, crackers, etc, toast would be better than a normal slice of bread. Well I was dead wrong! I took one bite and felt so sick to my stomach! Won't be making that mistake again!

It's always interesting to see the people who come to support group. I think I've always been the youngest one there, although not always by a lot. Tonight there was a girl who looked younger than me and she's scheduled to have surgery in a few months. I really wanted to befriend her, but didn't want to come off as some kind of creep.

One of the things we do at the start of group is go around and give a little introduction. Tonight I was feeling a bit brave, so I passed this picture around. I got a lot of applause and compliments. I didn't do it for that, but I want to let those people who are there and haven't had surgery, just how amazing this can be. Individual results vary, but if I can do this, anyone can! I want to be an inspiration for people. I still cannot believe what a difference 100 pounds can make!

Plateau

In one of my last couple posts I mentioned that my doctor told me it would be normal to hit a weight plateau where I won't lose anything for a while. Boy let me tell you. I have hit one. And I hate it! My weight has been the same for the last month or so, give or take a pound. I've tried making sure I drink only water, eat only protein, walk/exercise, etc and it doesn't change. It can be rather frustrating and discouraging at times. I know people tried to prepare me for this, and I thought I had a good grasp on it but now that it's happening, I just want to whine about it.

Our county Relay For Life was this weekend and I ended up walking about five miles around the track. It was 90 some degree weather and just as humid. I had so much sweat dripping off me that i thought i would have for sure lost a couple pounds! It was quite disgusting really. I have the blisters to prove it. The scale still didn't budge. Wouldn't you feel frustrated too?!

Tonight I have my monthly support group thing and although I haven't been since April, I think I need to go. It will be good for me.