Oh My!

I forgot to mention a funny little thing that happened at my 3 month check. So, the only time my doctor has ever checked my incisions was at my one week post-op appointment, and that was mostly just to have the drain removed. I've seen him a few times since then, and he's never checked my incisions. Never. Ever. So the day of my appointment is one of the hottest days we've had all summer. 100 degrees and just as humid. I didn't want to go to the appointment in the first place, and I certainly didn't want any clothes touching me unless it absolutely had to. So I decide to wear my new strapless cotton dress. It's super cute. Anyway, I actually feel somewhat comfortable in the dress because the fabric breathes. The doctor comes in to see me, and we talk about everything that needs to be talked about, and as he turns to walk out the door, he decides he needs to check my incisions. Now, remember, I'm wearing a strapless dress. I have two options. One is to pull the dress down, therefore exposing my breasts. And two, pull the dress up, therefore exposing, um, everything else. For reference, here is a picture of me in the dress (not taken that day).


There are some weird shadows going on, and although I look pissed, I wasn't. 


Doctor was really happy with how my incisions/scars look. You can't hardly tell they are there. I think it's because I'm always so pale, hahaha. I do have a picture of my scars, but I'm not nearly brave enough to post that photo.

(Insert Witty Title Here)

Hey there. It's been about a month since my last blog post, and even that one was pretty short. When we last left off, I was gearing up for my 3 month post-OP appointment. I'm now just over four months out from surgery, and I'm doing pretty fan-freaking-tastic. I didn't see my regular surgeon at my appointment, but I had met this doctor before (he actually was the doctor that did my endoscopy back in February) and I felt comfortable with him. He was real impressed with how much weight I've lost so far, and said that I should expect to plateau soon. He said it's actually more common to plateau 6-12 months after surgery, but since I've been doing such a kick ass job of losing weight, I should expect to do it now. And you know what? I have. And it pretty much sucks.

One thing a lot of doctors like weight loss patients to do is set goals. I've never really been one to set goals because I hate the feeling I get if I don't reach them. I've never set new years resolutions. I feel like such a failure. Anyway, I actually set a goal! I want to lose X amount of pounds by July 26th. Why the 26th you ask? Well that was the day in January that I went to my consult with the surgeon. That was the day that I was at my highest weight ever. That was the day I drank my last soda. That was the day I decided to make a change. July 26th will be six months from that day. Half a year. Wow! Time sure does fly. Like I was saying, I set a weight goal for myself, and I'm SUPER close to making that goal, but since I've stopped losing so easily, I'm so afraid of failing again. I have five days. I'd love to wake up on the morning of the 26th and weigh myself and be at that weight (actually, who am I kidding? I'd love to even be a couple pounds less!) I'm really hoping I can pull this off. I want to feel proud of myself for a change.

Since I'm 4 months out from surgery, I'm not nearly as restricted when it comes to eating. The doctor even told me by now I should have noticed I can tolerate a lot more. I'm going to be honest. There are things that I'm still real scared of eating (pasta and bread are the biggest ones) but there are foods that I know I shouldn't be eating, but I still do (like potato chips or ice cream). It's all so mental. You think to yourself "I know I shouldn't be eating this, but I can only eat such a tiny amount so it's okay" but it's NOT okay. I guess the old saying is true. Old habit really do die hard. People are always so amazed at how little it takes for me to feel full. Sometime I'll have to do a post about that.

I guess I don't really know what else to talk about right now. It seems like there's always something I think I need to post about, but when I actually sit down to type, my mind goes blank. I really do hope I can keep writing more often. It's so hard because it's summer break, and I'm so busy with my kids.

And because I like to include pictures, here's an updated photo of me. It was taken just this week, and actually, it's my current Facebook profile picture. If you know me at all, you'll know that I've had the same profile picture for over a year (and before I was was one of these people who would change it daily) so this is kind of a big deal. I've received loads of compliments on the picture, and each comment makes me smile. :)

I've Come So Far

...but I still have so far to go! Check out how much of a difference three months can take, and this is just in my face!

It's Been A While

It's been over a month since I last posted a blog update. I guess I've been busy! My daughter has been out of school for a month already, and man, it sure did go by fast. At this rate, she'll be going back to school in no time.

I continue to lose more weight each day/week, although now that I'm able to eat more foods I find that the weight loss is a lot slower. It gets rather discouraging at times. I mean, when you go from losing 5 to 10 pounds a week and then you're at a stand still and lose MAYBE a pound a week, you can get frustrated.

But then again, I will fully admit to not making the best choices in when it comes to what to eat. Two weeks ago I took my kids out for ice cream after my daughter's last t-ball game. My son wanted a scoop of Superman ice cream and without even thinking, I was stealing bites of the ice cream as well. It didn't dawn on me until the bowl was empty what I had done. I thought I'd be so sick. I was shocked that I didn't physically get sick from all of the sugar, etc in it. I was so emotionally sick and disgusted with myself. I cannot believe I let myself do that. Mistakes happen, and I realize that, but I also know I need to be more conscious of what I put into my body. I did not go through all this just to end up the way I was.

I'm so glad summer is here though because there's always fresh fruits and veggies in the kitchen and I can tolerate a lot more food now. Well that, and we are constantly grilling some kind of meat. Still, there are temptations everywhere I go and I need to be careful to not fall into old habits.

Summer should provide loads of opportunities to be physical without actually exercising as well. We have a trampoline and a pool and I'm thinking we'll be spending a lot of time with both.

See! I'm on a trampoline! And I didn't even pee my pants, haha. 

The kids love the pool as much as I do, and as a bonus, I'm wearing the bathing suit that I last wore in 2008. It fits better now than it did then! 

I go later this week for my official 3 month post-OP check up, and I'm hoping the doctor says I'm doing as fabulous as I think I'm doing. I'll update after the appointment. 

Wedding Weekend

This past weekend my family traveled up north to a family wedding. We had a really wonderful time. It's been nearly 20 years since I was up that way, and the same for my husband as well. It was a nice little family getaway. We spent Mother's Day at Sleeping Bear Dunes. I actually climbed the dunes! If I did not have this surgery, there's no way I would have ever been able to do that again. If you've never been up to that area of Michigan, I highly recommend it. It's so gorgeous. 

If you read my last blog post, you'd know that I was struggling to find something to wear. I bought a dress but it ended up being so big. I spend several hours last Friday shopping for something new to wear but just didn't like anything. I ended up wearing the same dress I wore for my brother's wedding last summer. I think it looked much better this time around, though it was too big and kept sliding around weird. 

I've decided that I'm going to stop (or at least try to stop) focusing on the number on the scale, and just pay attention to how my clothes fit, how I feel, etc. As you can see in this side by side pic, I've lost a great deal of weight, and I'm thinking 90% of my weight loss has been in my face and breasts. I'm okay with the face. I do hope I keep some 'chubby' in my cheeks however. I'm disappointed with the breasts though. I keep telling myself that it will be okay because I can always buy new ones if I really want. 

And just one more side by side/before and after picture. I love this man with all my heart. He's been so amazing and supportive through all this, and he loves me just as much now as he ever did. Plus, I love hearing him tell me that he's proud of me. 

The Problem With Losing Weight

This next weekend my family is going out of town for the wedding of my cousin. We all bought new dress clothes for the occasion. When I bought my dress, I bought it in the size I thought I'd be by then. The dress arrived and it looked beautiful. It was a bit snug, but it was also a month or so ago. We are now less than a week away from the wedding, and this morning I tried on the dress. And I kid you not, it's too big. I tried on the dress I had as a back up, and it's even bigger than the other dress. I'm going to explore some other options but if I don't like the way it fits/looks, I'll just go with the original dress I had. It is really pretty, and it's so comfortable. Normally I get so stressed because my dress clothes are too tight and uncomfortable, and now I'm complaining that they are too big and don't look nice on me. My how times have changed!

I am excited about the wedding though. Not only do we get to travel to a gorgeous part of Michigan (Grand Traverse Bay), we are staying at the hotel that night (my kids will love that!) and the next day, for Mother's Day, my husband took the night off work and we are going to travel down the Lake Michigan shoreline on our way home. Hopefully the food is decent as well as the music.

For the last couple weeks I haven't lost any weight. It's frustrating, but I've heard it's common. This past week I've started to lose a bit more. While I was looking through some clothes today for dress clothes, I happened to stumble upon a shirt I bought the summer of 2008. I was only able to wear it a few times, and when I did, it was snug. I got pregnant with my son shortly after I bought it and haven't worn it since. Tried it on today and it fit! And it was comfortable! I didn't look in the mirror to see how it actually looked, but I'm hopeful.

Now to convince my husband to let me buy a whole new wardrobe....

Two Months Post-OP

It's been about two months since surgery. Things are going, for the most part, really well. I'm down 60 pounds since late January, sometimes more, sometimes less. It just depends on the time of day, and what day in my menstrual cycle I'm on. This past week I've stayed right where I'm supposed to be regarding the post-OP diet stages. The last few days however I've had this really weird pain in my stomach. I'm really hoping it is nothing major. Today was better than yesterday which was better than the day before which was the same as Thursday when the pain started.

I'm on this next stage of my diet now, stage 5. It includes the same things allowed on the previous stages (you can read about those four stages here) but on this stage, you are allowed:
*pureed meats (that may need to be thinned with broth)
*low fat cheese, cottage cheese, string cheese
*tofu
*well cooked or canned beans or peas - navy, kidney, pinto, lima beans and lentils and split peas
*soft well cooked vegetables (green beans, carrots, squash, wax beans)
*soft canned fruits (peaches or pears)

I have to say that I'm really excited about the fruit and cheese. I know I should be eating the veggies, but I cannot bring myself to eat cooked vegetables most of the time. It's a total texture thing. I know I need to work on getting more protein as I'm not currently getting what the doctors recommend. I tried some string cheese today and it was DELICIOUS. Seriously, one of the best things I have had to eat in a long time.

I've started to get cravings for certain foods. I hate it. I NEVER got cravings before, even while I was pregnant. It's just ridiculous. And of course they have to be for foods I can't eat.

Even though I have cheated with foods I am not supposed to be eating, I'm still pretty proud of myself. I have sacrificed a lot, and it's paying off. Next weekend we are traveling to my cousin's wedding. I've lost all this weight, I have a new dress and shoes. I need to do some tanning in an attempt to get some color on my legs. I have a new hair cut and I'm planning on coloring my hair by then. (I'm thinking RED!) Oh! And I'm also going and getting a pedicure and manicure before then! My husband and kids all have new dress clothes too and I think we'll look fabulous. I may even post a picture or two after!