Glee and 6 month post-op

One of my favorite TV shows is Glee. It's kind of silly I know as I'm not a teenage girl. I'm an almost thirty year old wife and mom to two kids. It's a show about love sick teenagers singing silly songs. (Okay, maybe there's a bit more to it.) Anyway, I love the show. It's a guilty pleasure. The fourth season of Glee started this past Thursday, and of course, I watched it. I cried. It really hit home for me.
POSSIBLE SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
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There's a new female student character, Marley. She has an amazing voice and wants to audition for Glee Club, but is nervous/scared/etc. One of the reasons behind this is because of her mother. Her mom is nothing but supportive, but her mother is overweight. In fact, she's beyond overweight. Severe morbid obesity is a better description. Marley's mom is a lunch lady at McKinley High, and while in the cafeteria, she overhears other students making fun of her mom for being overweight. Her mom would drop her off for school a couple blocks away so they didn't have to be seen together. Marley was not embarrassed or ashamed of her mom, but it was more the mom not wanting to put her daughter in a position where it would be easier for feelings to get hurt.

Like I said, it just really hit home for me. My kids are young (6 and 3) but kids these days are jerks and will make fun of another kid for nearly any reason. I never wanted to be 'the fat mom'. I would feel so horrible if my children were made fun of because of something that they had absolutely no control over. This has always been a fear of mine, and while they have never been teased or bullied because of my weight, yet, it was just a matter of time. When I stopped and thought about it, I just felt even more confident in my decision to have weight loss surgery. I know my kids will be teased and bullied one day, but I hope it's never for having 'the fat mom'. I'll never be a skinny mini, but if you knew me before my surgery and now after, you know how far I've come.

About a week and a half ago, I had my six month post-op check. Yes, six months! A half year! I cannot believe it's been that long already! My doctor seemed to be impressed with how far I've come. I was officially down 111 pounds since my pre-consultation appointment at the end of January. I hate that I'm still on this plateau but I know once I crack down on eating junk food and start exercising more I can lose even more weight by my nine month appointment in December. My blood pressure was perfect and I don't ever have any big problems besides drinking too soon after I finish eating. Old habits are hard to break, but I have to try to be more aware about it. It just leaves me with this real heavy feeling in my stomach for about 15 minutes or so. It's even worse when I drink something with refined sugar so soon after eating. It's something only I can control, and I just have to make sure I'm more careful. I did have a couple concerns that I brought up with my surgeon, but he told me it's something more for my primary doctor. Since it's not *THAT* big of deal, I guess I'll just wait until I have to go back in. I'm very happy with the progress I've made and all the success I've had. Shoot, a couple weeks ago I ordered some new shirts and by the time they arrived they were nearly too big!! I'm still going to wear them because I have hardly any clothes right now, but I know I won't be in them long. It kind of stinks because my best friend is getting married in January and I cannot wait to go dress shopping but since I have NO idea what size I'll be then, I don't dare buy anything yet.

Speaking of weddings, this weekend my brother in law and his girlfriend got married (and I officiated! I was so honored that they asked me too. AND I'll be officiating at my friend's wedding in January! Gives me warm fuzzies to know that people want me to be a part of their most special day.) It was so  wonderful because at the reception, I was able to dance and dance and not break out in this huge sweat like I normally would. Now my goal is to start working out and get totally ripped by the time Jeanne's wedding rolls around, so I can dance my ass off all night! Okay, I kid. But I do need to work out. The weight loss from the surgery and eating right can only get you so far. I really need to get my arms toned, and I'd like to do my legs as well. And you'll see in the picture below that I cropped it at my waist because that needs some work too.

I love this picture though. My husband and I didn't dance together at our wedding eight years ago and since having kids, we haven't been able to slow dance when we've gone to weddings. We actually managed to dance one song at his brother's wedding. And after nearly twelve years of being together, I think we have 'our song'. In My Life, by the Beatles.

Though I know I'll never lose affection 

For people and things that went before 

I know I'll often stop and think about them 

In my life I love you more 

(Huge thanks to our six year old daughter for getting this shot of us!)

Yay

My husband and I have been trying to move some of our bedrooms around lately, and while cleaning out one room, I stumbled upon my wedding dress. For giggles, I tried it on. I thought I might be able to squeeze in to it and have it fit maybe okay. In fact, I told my husband that maybe for our anniversary in October we could wear our wedding clothes and have some pictures taken with the kids. Imagine my surprise when it ended up being too big! 

Support Group

I decided to go to the monthly support group tonight. Overall, it went pretty well. I'm not really at liberty to talk about much because there's this 'what happens in support group, stays in support group' rule. We had a dietitian/nutritionist come in as the guest speaker. It was nice to listen to her talk, and kind of reminded me that everyone is so different in their surgery journey so just because my body can't handle a particular food right now, there's nothing wrong with me. The general consensus of the group was that everyone is so different so just because someone can handle a certain food, not everyone who had that surgery can. Just because I can't handle a certain food doesn't mean that someone else won't be able to stomach it. (No pun intended, haha.) Seems like we all agree that pasta and breads are the devil however.

Speaking of, I tried bread for the first time a couple weeks ago. I really wanted an egg salad sandwich and my ever supportive husband made some while I ran our yard sale. I got one slice of bread and even toasted it. I figured if I can handle tortilla chips, crackers, etc, toast would be better than a normal slice of bread. Well I was dead wrong! I took one bite and felt so sick to my stomach! Won't be making that mistake again!

It's always interesting to see the people who come to support group. I think I've always been the youngest one there, although not always by a lot. Tonight there was a girl who looked younger than me and she's scheduled to have surgery in a few months. I really wanted to befriend her, but didn't want to come off as some kind of creep.

One of the things we do at the start of group is go around and give a little introduction. Tonight I was feeling a bit brave, so I passed this picture around. I got a lot of applause and compliments. I didn't do it for that, but I want to let those people who are there and haven't had surgery, just how amazing this can be. Individual results vary, but if I can do this, anyone can! I want to be an inspiration for people. I still cannot believe what a difference 100 pounds can make!

Plateau

In one of my last couple posts I mentioned that my doctor told me it would be normal to hit a weight plateau where I won't lose anything for a while. Boy let me tell you. I have hit one. And I hate it! My weight has been the same for the last month or so, give or take a pound. I've tried making sure I drink only water, eat only protein, walk/exercise, etc and it doesn't change. It can be rather frustrating and discouraging at times. I know people tried to prepare me for this, and I thought I had a good grasp on it but now that it's happening, I just want to whine about it.

Our county Relay For Life was this weekend and I ended up walking about five miles around the track. It was 90 some degree weather and just as humid. I had so much sweat dripping off me that i thought i would have for sure lost a couple pounds! It was quite disgusting really. I have the blisters to prove it. The scale still didn't budge. Wouldn't you feel frustrated too?!

Tonight I have my monthly support group thing and although I haven't been since April, I think I need to go. It will be good for me.

I did it! *squeal*

In my last blog post, I mentioned that I had given myself a weight loss goal and I had given myself until July 26th to meet that goal. Today is the 26th. Two days ago, for a brief moment as I stood on the bathroom scale, I met that goal!

I have come so far, but as you can see I still have far to go. I don't care though. Even if I never lost another pound, I'm still 100 pounds less than I was six months ago. I feel so much better about myself. I can play outside with my kids without needing to take a break as often. I can do so many things I could before without feeling like I was going to have a heart attack at any time. I set a goal, and through some really hard work, I met that goal. I'm proud of me.

Oh My!

I forgot to mention a funny little thing that happened at my 3 month check. So, the only time my doctor has ever checked my incisions was at my one week post-op appointment, and that was mostly just to have the drain removed. I've seen him a few times since then, and he's never checked my incisions. Never. Ever. So the day of my appointment is one of the hottest days we've had all summer. 100 degrees and just as humid. I didn't want to go to the appointment in the first place, and I certainly didn't want any clothes touching me unless it absolutely had to. So I decide to wear my new strapless cotton dress. It's super cute. Anyway, I actually feel somewhat comfortable in the dress because the fabric breathes. The doctor comes in to see me, and we talk about everything that needs to be talked about, and as he turns to walk out the door, he decides he needs to check my incisions. Now, remember, I'm wearing a strapless dress. I have two options. One is to pull the dress down, therefore exposing my breasts. And two, pull the dress up, therefore exposing, um, everything else. For reference, here is a picture of me in the dress (not taken that day).


There are some weird shadows going on, and although I look pissed, I wasn't. 


Doctor was really happy with how my incisions/scars look. You can't hardly tell they are there. I think it's because I'm always so pale, hahaha. I do have a picture of my scars, but I'm not nearly brave enough to post that photo.

(Insert Witty Title Here)

Hey there. It's been about a month since my last blog post, and even that one was pretty short. When we last left off, I was gearing up for my 3 month post-OP appointment. I'm now just over four months out from surgery, and I'm doing pretty fan-freaking-tastic. I didn't see my regular surgeon at my appointment, but I had met this doctor before (he actually was the doctor that did my endoscopy back in February) and I felt comfortable with him. He was real impressed with how much weight I've lost so far, and said that I should expect to plateau soon. He said it's actually more common to plateau 6-12 months after surgery, but since I've been doing such a kick ass job of losing weight, I should expect to do it now. And you know what? I have. And it pretty much sucks.

One thing a lot of doctors like weight loss patients to do is set goals. I've never really been one to set goals because I hate the feeling I get if I don't reach them. I've never set new years resolutions. I feel like such a failure. Anyway, I actually set a goal! I want to lose X amount of pounds by July 26th. Why the 26th you ask? Well that was the day in January that I went to my consult with the surgeon. That was the day that I was at my highest weight ever. That was the day I drank my last soda. That was the day I decided to make a change. July 26th will be six months from that day. Half a year. Wow! Time sure does fly. Like I was saying, I set a weight goal for myself, and I'm SUPER close to making that goal, but since I've stopped losing so easily, I'm so afraid of failing again. I have five days. I'd love to wake up on the morning of the 26th and weigh myself and be at that weight (actually, who am I kidding? I'd love to even be a couple pounds less!) I'm really hoping I can pull this off. I want to feel proud of myself for a change.

Since I'm 4 months out from surgery, I'm not nearly as restricted when it comes to eating. The doctor even told me by now I should have noticed I can tolerate a lot more. I'm going to be honest. There are things that I'm still real scared of eating (pasta and bread are the biggest ones) but there are foods that I know I shouldn't be eating, but I still do (like potato chips or ice cream). It's all so mental. You think to yourself "I know I shouldn't be eating this, but I can only eat such a tiny amount so it's okay" but it's NOT okay. I guess the old saying is true. Old habit really do die hard. People are always so amazed at how little it takes for me to feel full. Sometime I'll have to do a post about that.

I guess I don't really know what else to talk about right now. It seems like there's always something I think I need to post about, but when I actually sit down to type, my mind goes blank. I really do hope I can keep writing more often. It's so hard because it's summer break, and I'm so busy with my kids.

And because I like to include pictures, here's an updated photo of me. It was taken just this week, and actually, it's my current Facebook profile picture. If you know me at all, you'll know that I've had the same profile picture for over a year (and before I was was one of these people who would change it daily) so this is kind of a big deal. I've received loads of compliments on the picture, and each comment makes me smile. :)