Small Victories

I know that I haven't posted in what seems like FOREVER, but I've been busy. My two little munchkins are a handful (and really, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love those stinkers.)

About two weeks ago I went to my doctor for my 9 month post-op check. For the last few months I've been stuck on this plateau and while I'm not gaining, I'm definitely not losing. It's been interesting seeing how my body has changed and adapted to this weight loss. My doctor assured me that I am doing great, and that what I've experienced is totally normal. So whew, that made me feel a ton better. I go back in March for my one year check (seriously, cannot believe it's been nearly that long!) and while I'm hoping to lose a bit of weight before then, I know if the scale doesn't budge, it's still considered normal. My doctor keeps telling me that I lost in 6 months what most people lose in the first year. So yeah, I'm doing fantastic.

Yesterday was Christmas and we've been to a few family get togethers, which in our family, involves a ton of awesome food. I may or may not (okay, I did) eat more than I planned on yesterday. We were at my mom's house for about 9 hours and the food there is always the best. I was afraid to step on the scale this morning (why torture yourself like that, haha) but to my surprise when I stepped on the scale this morning (after I had slept on and off for about 10 hours) I was actually four pounds LESS than I was yesterday morning! I'm sure it was some kind of fluke, though I did weigh myself several times and still got the same number. I'm still going to claim it as a small victory.

Oh, and one final tooting of my own horn. Today marks ELEVEN months of being soda and caffeine free!! I remember eleven months ago thinking that giving up soda and caffeine was going to be the biggest challenge for me in this whole weight loss surgery journey, but I've surprised myself. When I stopped drinking the crap, I never got that nasty migraine that everyone talks about, and honestly, I don't even miss the stuff. Okay, that's a fib. There are times when I miss the caffeine (like I said, I'm trying to keep up with two young kids! but I have a vitamin B-12 deficiency and I do monthly injections. They help with the lack of energy issue. I'm super proud of myself!

Stuck

It's been almost a month since my last post. I'm still stuck on this plateau. It's frustrating and discouraging, but all of my doctors have said it's very normal. In the meantime I just try to stay positive and eat the foods I'm supposed to be eating, and drinking my weight in water (a slight exaggeration). It's not all bad news though. Since I've had such a drastic weight loss, I find myself freezing cold. 100+ pounds ago I didn't even hardly need to wear a winter coat because I was so warm. Well I broke down and bought a new coat. It arrived today and I tried it on and it's almost too big! I don't think I'll exchange it for another size because I just hate to have that one be too small and then I'm still freezing my butt off. I love the coat though. :)

Glee and 6 month post-op

One of my favorite TV shows is Glee. It's kind of silly I know as I'm not a teenage girl. I'm an almost thirty year old wife and mom to two kids. It's a show about love sick teenagers singing silly songs. (Okay, maybe there's a bit more to it.) Anyway, I love the show. It's a guilty pleasure. The fourth season of Glee started this past Thursday, and of course, I watched it. I cried. It really hit home for me.
POSSIBLE SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
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There's a new female student character, Marley. She has an amazing voice and wants to audition for Glee Club, but is nervous/scared/etc. One of the reasons behind this is because of her mother. Her mom is nothing but supportive, but her mother is overweight. In fact, she's beyond overweight. Severe morbid obesity is a better description. Marley's mom is a lunch lady at McKinley High, and while in the cafeteria, she overhears other students making fun of her mom for being overweight. Her mom would drop her off for school a couple blocks away so they didn't have to be seen together. Marley was not embarrassed or ashamed of her mom, but it was more the mom not wanting to put her daughter in a position where it would be easier for feelings to get hurt.

Like I said, it just really hit home for me. My kids are young (6 and 3) but kids these days are jerks and will make fun of another kid for nearly any reason. I never wanted to be 'the fat mom'. I would feel so horrible if my children were made fun of because of something that they had absolutely no control over. This has always been a fear of mine, and while they have never been teased or bullied because of my weight, yet, it was just a matter of time. When I stopped and thought about it, I just felt even more confident in my decision to have weight loss surgery. I know my kids will be teased and bullied one day, but I hope it's never for having 'the fat mom'. I'll never be a skinny mini, but if you knew me before my surgery and now after, you know how far I've come.

About a week and a half ago, I had my six month post-op check. Yes, six months! A half year! I cannot believe it's been that long already! My doctor seemed to be impressed with how far I've come. I was officially down 111 pounds since my pre-consultation appointment at the end of January. I hate that I'm still on this plateau but I know once I crack down on eating junk food and start exercising more I can lose even more weight by my nine month appointment in December. My blood pressure was perfect and I don't ever have any big problems besides drinking too soon after I finish eating. Old habits are hard to break, but I have to try to be more aware about it. It just leaves me with this real heavy feeling in my stomach for about 15 minutes or so. It's even worse when I drink something with refined sugar so soon after eating. It's something only I can control, and I just have to make sure I'm more careful. I did have a couple concerns that I brought up with my surgeon, but he told me it's something more for my primary doctor. Since it's not *THAT* big of deal, I guess I'll just wait until I have to go back in. I'm very happy with the progress I've made and all the success I've had. Shoot, a couple weeks ago I ordered some new shirts and by the time they arrived they were nearly too big!! I'm still going to wear them because I have hardly any clothes right now, but I know I won't be in them long. It kind of stinks because my best friend is getting married in January and I cannot wait to go dress shopping but since I have NO idea what size I'll be then, I don't dare buy anything yet.

Speaking of weddings, this weekend my brother in law and his girlfriend got married (and I officiated! I was so honored that they asked me too. AND I'll be officiating at my friend's wedding in January! Gives me warm fuzzies to know that people want me to be a part of their most special day.) It was so  wonderful because at the reception, I was able to dance and dance and not break out in this huge sweat like I normally would. Now my goal is to start working out and get totally ripped by the time Jeanne's wedding rolls around, so I can dance my ass off all night! Okay, I kid. But I do need to work out. The weight loss from the surgery and eating right can only get you so far. I really need to get my arms toned, and I'd like to do my legs as well. And you'll see in the picture below that I cropped it at my waist because that needs some work too.

I love this picture though. My husband and I didn't dance together at our wedding eight years ago and since having kids, we haven't been able to slow dance when we've gone to weddings. We actually managed to dance one song at his brother's wedding. And after nearly twelve years of being together, I think we have 'our song'. In My Life, by the Beatles.

Though I know I'll never lose affection 

For people and things that went before 

I know I'll often stop and think about them 

In my life I love you more 

(Huge thanks to our six year old daughter for getting this shot of us!)

Yay

My husband and I have been trying to move some of our bedrooms around lately, and while cleaning out one room, I stumbled upon my wedding dress. For giggles, I tried it on. I thought I might be able to squeeze in to it and have it fit maybe okay. In fact, I told my husband that maybe for our anniversary in October we could wear our wedding clothes and have some pictures taken with the kids. Imagine my surprise when it ended up being too big! 

Support Group

I decided to go to the monthly support group tonight. Overall, it went pretty well. I'm not really at liberty to talk about much because there's this 'what happens in support group, stays in support group' rule. We had a dietitian/nutritionist come in as the guest speaker. It was nice to listen to her talk, and kind of reminded me that everyone is so different in their surgery journey so just because my body can't handle a particular food right now, there's nothing wrong with me. The general consensus of the group was that everyone is so different so just because someone can handle a certain food, not everyone who had that surgery can. Just because I can't handle a certain food doesn't mean that someone else won't be able to stomach it. (No pun intended, haha.) Seems like we all agree that pasta and breads are the devil however.

Speaking of, I tried bread for the first time a couple weeks ago. I really wanted an egg salad sandwich and my ever supportive husband made some while I ran our yard sale. I got one slice of bread and even toasted it. I figured if I can handle tortilla chips, crackers, etc, toast would be better than a normal slice of bread. Well I was dead wrong! I took one bite and felt so sick to my stomach! Won't be making that mistake again!

It's always interesting to see the people who come to support group. I think I've always been the youngest one there, although not always by a lot. Tonight there was a girl who looked younger than me and she's scheduled to have surgery in a few months. I really wanted to befriend her, but didn't want to come off as some kind of creep.

One of the things we do at the start of group is go around and give a little introduction. Tonight I was feeling a bit brave, so I passed this picture around. I got a lot of applause and compliments. I didn't do it for that, but I want to let those people who are there and haven't had surgery, just how amazing this can be. Individual results vary, but if I can do this, anyone can! I want to be an inspiration for people. I still cannot believe what a difference 100 pounds can make!

Plateau

In one of my last couple posts I mentioned that my doctor told me it would be normal to hit a weight plateau where I won't lose anything for a while. Boy let me tell you. I have hit one. And I hate it! My weight has been the same for the last month or so, give or take a pound. I've tried making sure I drink only water, eat only protein, walk/exercise, etc and it doesn't change. It can be rather frustrating and discouraging at times. I know people tried to prepare me for this, and I thought I had a good grasp on it but now that it's happening, I just want to whine about it.

Our county Relay For Life was this weekend and I ended up walking about five miles around the track. It was 90 some degree weather and just as humid. I had so much sweat dripping off me that i thought i would have for sure lost a couple pounds! It was quite disgusting really. I have the blisters to prove it. The scale still didn't budge. Wouldn't you feel frustrated too?!

Tonight I have my monthly support group thing and although I haven't been since April, I think I need to go. It will be good for me.

I did it! *squeal*

In my last blog post, I mentioned that I had given myself a weight loss goal and I had given myself until July 26th to meet that goal. Today is the 26th. Two days ago, for a brief moment as I stood on the bathroom scale, I met that goal!

I have come so far, but as you can see I still have far to go. I don't care though. Even if I never lost another pound, I'm still 100 pounds less than I was six months ago. I feel so much better about myself. I can play outside with my kids without needing to take a break as often. I can do so many things I could before without feeling like I was going to have a heart attack at any time. I set a goal, and through some really hard work, I met that goal. I'm proud of me.

Oh My!

I forgot to mention a funny little thing that happened at my 3 month check. So, the only time my doctor has ever checked my incisions was at my one week post-op appointment, and that was mostly just to have the drain removed. I've seen him a few times since then, and he's never checked my incisions. Never. Ever. So the day of my appointment is one of the hottest days we've had all summer. 100 degrees and just as humid. I didn't want to go to the appointment in the first place, and I certainly didn't want any clothes touching me unless it absolutely had to. So I decide to wear my new strapless cotton dress. It's super cute. Anyway, I actually feel somewhat comfortable in the dress because the fabric breathes. The doctor comes in to see me, and we talk about everything that needs to be talked about, and as he turns to walk out the door, he decides he needs to check my incisions. Now, remember, I'm wearing a strapless dress. I have two options. One is to pull the dress down, therefore exposing my breasts. And two, pull the dress up, therefore exposing, um, everything else. For reference, here is a picture of me in the dress (not taken that day).


There are some weird shadows going on, and although I look pissed, I wasn't. 


Doctor was really happy with how my incisions/scars look. You can't hardly tell they are there. I think it's because I'm always so pale, hahaha. I do have a picture of my scars, but I'm not nearly brave enough to post that photo.

(Insert Witty Title Here)

Hey there. It's been about a month since my last blog post, and even that one was pretty short. When we last left off, I was gearing up for my 3 month post-OP appointment. I'm now just over four months out from surgery, and I'm doing pretty fan-freaking-tastic. I didn't see my regular surgeon at my appointment, but I had met this doctor before (he actually was the doctor that did my endoscopy back in February) and I felt comfortable with him. He was real impressed with how much weight I've lost so far, and said that I should expect to plateau soon. He said it's actually more common to plateau 6-12 months after surgery, but since I've been doing such a kick ass job of losing weight, I should expect to do it now. And you know what? I have. And it pretty much sucks.

One thing a lot of doctors like weight loss patients to do is set goals. I've never really been one to set goals because I hate the feeling I get if I don't reach them. I've never set new years resolutions. I feel like such a failure. Anyway, I actually set a goal! I want to lose X amount of pounds by July 26th. Why the 26th you ask? Well that was the day in January that I went to my consult with the surgeon. That was the day that I was at my highest weight ever. That was the day I drank my last soda. That was the day I decided to make a change. July 26th will be six months from that day. Half a year. Wow! Time sure does fly. Like I was saying, I set a weight goal for myself, and I'm SUPER close to making that goal, but since I've stopped losing so easily, I'm so afraid of failing again. I have five days. I'd love to wake up on the morning of the 26th and weigh myself and be at that weight (actually, who am I kidding? I'd love to even be a couple pounds less!) I'm really hoping I can pull this off. I want to feel proud of myself for a change.

Since I'm 4 months out from surgery, I'm not nearly as restricted when it comes to eating. The doctor even told me by now I should have noticed I can tolerate a lot more. I'm going to be honest. There are things that I'm still real scared of eating (pasta and bread are the biggest ones) but there are foods that I know I shouldn't be eating, but I still do (like potato chips or ice cream). It's all so mental. You think to yourself "I know I shouldn't be eating this, but I can only eat such a tiny amount so it's okay" but it's NOT okay. I guess the old saying is true. Old habit really do die hard. People are always so amazed at how little it takes for me to feel full. Sometime I'll have to do a post about that.

I guess I don't really know what else to talk about right now. It seems like there's always something I think I need to post about, but when I actually sit down to type, my mind goes blank. I really do hope I can keep writing more often. It's so hard because it's summer break, and I'm so busy with my kids.

And because I like to include pictures, here's an updated photo of me. It was taken just this week, and actually, it's my current Facebook profile picture. If you know me at all, you'll know that I've had the same profile picture for over a year (and before I was was one of these people who would change it daily) so this is kind of a big deal. I've received loads of compliments on the picture, and each comment makes me smile. :)

I've Come So Far

...but I still have so far to go! Check out how much of a difference three months can take, and this is just in my face!

It's Been A While

It's been over a month since I last posted a blog update. I guess I've been busy! My daughter has been out of school for a month already, and man, it sure did go by fast. At this rate, she'll be going back to school in no time.

I continue to lose more weight each day/week, although now that I'm able to eat more foods I find that the weight loss is a lot slower. It gets rather discouraging at times. I mean, when you go from losing 5 to 10 pounds a week and then you're at a stand still and lose MAYBE a pound a week, you can get frustrated.

But then again, I will fully admit to not making the best choices in when it comes to what to eat. Two weeks ago I took my kids out for ice cream after my daughter's last t-ball game. My son wanted a scoop of Superman ice cream and without even thinking, I was stealing bites of the ice cream as well. It didn't dawn on me until the bowl was empty what I had done. I thought I'd be so sick. I was shocked that I didn't physically get sick from all of the sugar, etc in it. I was so emotionally sick and disgusted with myself. I cannot believe I let myself do that. Mistakes happen, and I realize that, but I also know I need to be more conscious of what I put into my body. I did not go through all this just to end up the way I was.

I'm so glad summer is here though because there's always fresh fruits and veggies in the kitchen and I can tolerate a lot more food now. Well that, and we are constantly grilling some kind of meat. Still, there are temptations everywhere I go and I need to be careful to not fall into old habits.

Summer should provide loads of opportunities to be physical without actually exercising as well. We have a trampoline and a pool and I'm thinking we'll be spending a lot of time with both.

See! I'm on a trampoline! And I didn't even pee my pants, haha. 

The kids love the pool as much as I do, and as a bonus, I'm wearing the bathing suit that I last wore in 2008. It fits better now than it did then! 

I go later this week for my official 3 month post-OP check up, and I'm hoping the doctor says I'm doing as fabulous as I think I'm doing. I'll update after the appointment. 

Wedding Weekend

This past weekend my family traveled up north to a family wedding. We had a really wonderful time. It's been nearly 20 years since I was up that way, and the same for my husband as well. It was a nice little family getaway. We spent Mother's Day at Sleeping Bear Dunes. I actually climbed the dunes! If I did not have this surgery, there's no way I would have ever been able to do that again. If you've never been up to that area of Michigan, I highly recommend it. It's so gorgeous. 

If you read my last blog post, you'd know that I was struggling to find something to wear. I bought a dress but it ended up being so big. I spend several hours last Friday shopping for something new to wear but just didn't like anything. I ended up wearing the same dress I wore for my brother's wedding last summer. I think it looked much better this time around, though it was too big and kept sliding around weird. 

I've decided that I'm going to stop (or at least try to stop) focusing on the number on the scale, and just pay attention to how my clothes fit, how I feel, etc. As you can see in this side by side pic, I've lost a great deal of weight, and I'm thinking 90% of my weight loss has been in my face and breasts. I'm okay with the face. I do hope I keep some 'chubby' in my cheeks however. I'm disappointed with the breasts though. I keep telling myself that it will be okay because I can always buy new ones if I really want. 

And just one more side by side/before and after picture. I love this man with all my heart. He's been so amazing and supportive through all this, and he loves me just as much now as he ever did. Plus, I love hearing him tell me that he's proud of me. 

The Problem With Losing Weight

This next weekend my family is going out of town for the wedding of my cousin. We all bought new dress clothes for the occasion. When I bought my dress, I bought it in the size I thought I'd be by then. The dress arrived and it looked beautiful. It was a bit snug, but it was also a month or so ago. We are now less than a week away from the wedding, and this morning I tried on the dress. And I kid you not, it's too big. I tried on the dress I had as a back up, and it's even bigger than the other dress. I'm going to explore some other options but if I don't like the way it fits/looks, I'll just go with the original dress I had. It is really pretty, and it's so comfortable. Normally I get so stressed because my dress clothes are too tight and uncomfortable, and now I'm complaining that they are too big and don't look nice on me. My how times have changed!

I am excited about the wedding though. Not only do we get to travel to a gorgeous part of Michigan (Grand Traverse Bay), we are staying at the hotel that night (my kids will love that!) and the next day, for Mother's Day, my husband took the night off work and we are going to travel down the Lake Michigan shoreline on our way home. Hopefully the food is decent as well as the music.

For the last couple weeks I haven't lost any weight. It's frustrating, but I've heard it's common. This past week I've started to lose a bit more. While I was looking through some clothes today for dress clothes, I happened to stumble upon a shirt I bought the summer of 2008. I was only able to wear it a few times, and when I did, it was snug. I got pregnant with my son shortly after I bought it and haven't worn it since. Tried it on today and it fit! And it was comfortable! I didn't look in the mirror to see how it actually looked, but I'm hopeful.

Now to convince my husband to let me buy a whole new wardrobe....

Two Months Post-OP

It's been about two months since surgery. Things are going, for the most part, really well. I'm down 60 pounds since late January, sometimes more, sometimes less. It just depends on the time of day, and what day in my menstrual cycle I'm on. This past week I've stayed right where I'm supposed to be regarding the post-OP diet stages. The last few days however I've had this really weird pain in my stomach. I'm really hoping it is nothing major. Today was better than yesterday which was better than the day before which was the same as Thursday when the pain started.

I'm on this next stage of my diet now, stage 5. It includes the same things allowed on the previous stages (you can read about those four stages here) but on this stage, you are allowed:
*pureed meats (that may need to be thinned with broth)
*low fat cheese, cottage cheese, string cheese
*tofu
*well cooked or canned beans or peas - navy, kidney, pinto, lima beans and lentils and split peas
*soft well cooked vegetables (green beans, carrots, squash, wax beans)
*soft canned fruits (peaches or pears)

I have to say that I'm really excited about the fruit and cheese. I know I should be eating the veggies, but I cannot bring myself to eat cooked vegetables most of the time. It's a total texture thing. I know I need to work on getting more protein as I'm not currently getting what the doctors recommend. I tried some string cheese today and it was DELICIOUS. Seriously, one of the best things I have had to eat in a long time.

I've started to get cravings for certain foods. I hate it. I NEVER got cravings before, even while I was pregnant. It's just ridiculous. And of course they have to be for foods I can't eat.

Even though I have cheated with foods I am not supposed to be eating, I'm still pretty proud of myself. I have sacrificed a lot, and it's paying off. Next weekend we are traveling to my cousin's wedding. I've lost all this weight, I have a new dress and shoes. I need to do some tanning in an attempt to get some color on my legs. I have a new hair cut and I'm planning on coloring my hair by then. (I'm thinking RED!) Oh! And I'm also going and getting a pedicure and manicure before then! My husband and kids all have new dress clothes too and I think we'll look fabulous. I may even post a picture or two after!

Ouch!

I know I haven't blogged in a few weeks, but I've been in this weird funk. I'm still on stage four, or the 'advanced liquid stage' of my post-OP diet and I've been starting to struggle with it. A couple weeks ago I was feeling fantastic and my son and I were doing some exercises. (Okay, it was really a Just Dance game for the Wii.) All of a sudden though, I heard this really loud "POP" and the next thing I know, I'm laying on the floor crying and in the most physical pain I've ever experienced in my nearly 30 years on this earth. I think I may have blacked out for a bit. I'm only 29 years old, I shouldn't have hip problems yet! I finally was able to get up and after struggling to get my son lunch and off for a nap, I popped some over the counter pain meds, and laid on the sofa with my pants off alternating ice and heat. The heat felt amazing, but the pain meds did nothing. Later that evening I drove myself to the monthly support group. (Group was great, if I get time tomorrow or this weekend I'll post about that.) After sitting in the chair for over an hour however, I was feeling even more sore. Thankfully group is in the building next to the hospital so after we were done, I took myself to the ER to get checked out. Once the doctor finally gets in to see just how bad it is, he determined that my hip bone wasn't broke or anything, but rather, it was diagnosed as being sacroiliitis. He also said there's not much I can do to help it get better. Just time and rest. Yeah, because that's easy to do with two young kids, haha. Finally this week I've started to feel more like myself, but it just stinks because I can't really do much besides walk, and can't even do much of that right now. My husband bought me this adorable pink Schwinn bike for Mother's Day, and I can't wait to use it. Hopefully the hip cooperates. Well, and the weather. I'm sure that has a lot to do with this funk I've been in.

Not Fair

I am not a big sweets person. Never have been. And now thanks to the surgery, will never be able to be one. Before I started on the weight loss surgery journey, when I needed something sweet, I'd head to a somewhat local bakery and buy one of their delicious cupcakes. They tasted amazing. My husband, who HATES cake, even loves the cupcakes. We haven't made a trip to their shoppe in a couple months now, but today we were out and about having all kinds of fun with the kids, and happened to be in the area. I snapped a picture, and I immediately thought that it wasn't fair. It's not fair that I have to see these gorgeous cupcakes, and know that they are eating them, and that I cannot.

However, I can't be too sad because when I weighed in today, I am THIS close to being down 50 pounds in just over two months.

The mint chocolate one is being saved for the Easter Bunny.

Lucky husband gets to eat two.

If you are ever in the mid-Michigan area, you NEED to check out The Gourmet Cupcake Shoppe!

One Month Post-Op

Today I had my one month post-op doctor appointment. The doctor didn't spend a whole lot of time with me, but I am doing great. My incisions are all closed and healed (need to get some Mederma ASAP, haha) and I don't have any pain from them. I am tolerating this stage in the diet okay. I am itching to eat some actual food, but I still have one more month on this stage. Easter is going to be a bit of Hell though as there is always delicious food. I find now that I can walk longer without becoming winded or needing to stop for a break. My blood pressure is great (not that I had big problems before surgery) and I also haven't needed to take my diabetic medicine (I was considered pre-diabetic before surgery).

Every time I mention my weight loss surgery, the big question is 'How much have you lost?' Well, this afternoon at the doctor office, the scale read 48 pounds lighter than it did at my pre-consultation appointment at the end of January. I'm a little proud of myself.

Oh! I also cried tears of joy today! I stepped on to the scale at home right before jumping in the shower, and it was a number I haven't seen in nearly four and a half years.

To My Family and Friends

I think this picture is so appropriate for what I'm going through right now. Liquid diets suck.

However, today marks four weeks from my surgery date. I have my check up tomorrow and I'm hoping for some good news. I think I'm doing pretty well, but I guess we'll find out when I step on to that scale tomorrow.

Stages - Part 2

In my last post, I wrote about the pre-surgery diet that must be followed. In this post, I'm going to write about the post-surgery diet stages. There are six defined post-op stages, however I am not going to go into detail on them all. I'm going to write about the ones that I have done up until now.

Stage One

Very simple. This stage includes ice chips. That's it. Tiny bits of frozen water. And not even a lot of them. As they told me in the hospital, it was pretty much only enough to keep your mouth hydrated. It wasn't nearly as bad as you'd think though. I remember after I was out of surgery and recovery room, an hour or so later I was brought a cup of ice chips. I put one in my mouth and it melted immediately. It was heavenly. A half hour later, I take another. Oh, and you should probably realize that these ice chips are smaller than the size of a dime. Anyway, I go to take my second ice chip, and it goes down okay, but not too long later, it came right back up. You cannot even imagine how painful that was. I always hurt when I vomit, but to get sick less than 5 hours out from major stomach surgery? Yeah, hope I never have to do that again. I stayed on stage one for a day before my surgeon bumped me up to stage two.

Stage Two

I was so excited to start on stage two! It still didn't mean I could eat, but I could at least have a little flavor. My surgeon approved me for stage two after I had my x-ray thing to make sure there were no leaks in my new stomach. Stage two is basically a sugar free clear liquid diet. They wanted me to get in 4 ounces of fluid every hour. Sounds easy enough right? Well it wasn't. Not when your stomach is reduced so small. The drinks allowed on this stage were drinks that I had been drinking for over a month before surgery, so it wasn't a huge change.

*Clear broth or bouillon

*Herbal or decaf tea, decaf coffee

*Sugar free gelatin

*Sugar free popsicles

*Sugar free, non-carbonated, caffeine free beverages: Crystal Light, Sugar free Kool-Aid, Sugar free lemonade, Sugar free sports drink, Diet V-8 Splash and Diet cranberry juice (both less than 7 gm of sugar per serving).

I was on stage two for about about a day until my surgeon gave me the okay for stage three.

Stage Three

This stage included everything on stage two, but with an added protein supplement. Again they want you to shoot for taking in 4 ounces of fluid an hour. This is also when you start your vitamins. They prefer you take a chewable or liquid multivitamin, calcium and iron. I have found actually that my kids Flintstone's vitamins go down pretty easy and meet all of my nutritional needs (although I do need to take an extra chewable calcium pill later in the day). Oh, you're also able to drink a little milk on this stage; skim or 1/2%. (I didn't do this as I have milk issues, but yay for more variety!) I stayed on this stage until I was two and a half weeks post-OP.

Stage Four

I am fairly new to stage four, but I am excited that I get to choose from a lot more with this stage. I will be on this stage four about SIX weeks! (Please note that gastric by-pass patients do not have to remain on this stage for that long. My surgeon recommends it to make sure that the new stomach is given plenty of time to heal before adding real foods.) This stage includes all of the previous sugar free, non-carbonated, caffeine free liquids, protein supplements, and the vitamin/mineral supplements. In addition to this, I am also able to enjoy the following things:

*sugar free pudding

*thin cooked cereals (think cream of wheat, Malto-Meal, Cocoa Wheat)

*V-8 and tomato juice

*artificially sweetened yogurt with no chunks (this is actually hard for me to find, but I did find some yogurt that is lower than most brands and the sugar in it is fructose)

*pureed fruits and vegetables (time to stock up on some Gerber baby food!)

*cream soups, made with low-fat milk and blended and/or no chunks

I can also blend unflavored protein powder into soups and cereals to help up my protein count. I am supposed to be keeping a food log to track my protein. I actually use www.myfitnesspal.com to help with this. I love that on this stage, all of these things are fluids and help contribute to my fluid goal. I should be able to take in 8 oz per hour.

Like I said before, I'm really excited to be on this stage, but since I'll be on it for so long, I'm sure the novelty will wear off soon. But still, I am pumped that I have a little more to choose from. I had some unsweetened applesauce (with a little splenda and cinnamon on top) for breakfast today (a half cup) and it took me an hour and a half to eat it, but it tasted good!

Stages

If you've read my blog posts, you've probably heard me talking about the different diet stages for both before and after surgery. Over the next few blog posts, I'm going to talk about the different stages and what all they include.

*Please note that these stages are mostly for the gastric bypass and sleeve gastrectomy. The lap-band surgery is much different, and I am not sure what all those pre and post surgery stages include. These stages will vary from surgeon to surgeon, and even patient to patient.

Tonight's blog will be all about the pre-surgery diet. There is only pre-surgery diet, and my surgeon wants the patients to start on it at least 10 days before surgery. This diet is used to shrink the liver. If the liver is too big, they won't be able to complete the surgery, which is really a shame because they don't know until you have already been cut open. While the chances of this happening are rare, it does in fact happen. I started on the diet about a month before surgery 'just in case'.

To make sure you are getting enough protein every day, you will have to do protein supplements. My surgeon and the others in the practice want you to get 40-50 protein grams a day from the supplements. You can choose pretty much any protein supplement, but you absolutely must look at the nutrition label. You should shoot for one that contains about 15 grams of protein in an 8 ounce serving, and has NO MORE than 7 grams of sugar in that same 8 oz serving.

I had a lot of issues with the protein powder, so I switched to Isopure brand, zero carb, ready to drink drinks. I ended up getting in a lot more protein that way.

Foods allowed on the pre-surgery diet include:

*4 oz. lean meat, poultry, fish, eggs or low-fat cheese daily

*Non-fat or 1/2% milk - limit to 4 cups a day

*Unlimited cooked or raw, low carbohydrate vegetables

(No corn, peas, potatoes, dry beans, winter squash, etc.) Green beans, celery, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, zucchini, yellow squash, beets, carrots, salad greens, spinach, cucumbers, peppers, mushrooms, onions, lettuce, tomatoes, etc, may all be used.

*Sugar free foods in unlimited quantities:

gelatin

popsicles

non-carbonated, caffeine free beverages

broth/bouillon

herbs and spices

*Include one teaspoon regular oil, margarine, mayo, or regular salad dressing daily.

Foods to avoid

*No breads, cereals, pasta, rice, etc

*No starchy vegetables: corn, peas, potatoes, dry beans, winter squash, etc

*No fruit or juice

It's so crazy because when I was doing this diet, I thought it was the hardest thing in the world. I thought, well if I can get through this, I can certainly get through the other stages! How naive I was! I was actually still able to eat and chew. I think that's what I miss the most! I just want to chew something.

I'm hoping I can write about the next stage tomorrow night. :)

Two Weeks Post-OP

This is me shortly before surgery. I was excited and nervous. I remember feeling like I wanted to puke. Although now that I think about it, it may have been because I was STARVING.

The absolute worst part before surgery was inserting the IV. I shit you not, it took at least three attempts to get the needle in me. I still have small bruises from where they tried. Hurt.Like.Hell. Oh, and then on the sites that they didn't use, I began to bleed all over. Yeah, I'm a bleeder. Thankfully my amazing husband was right by my side, trying to keep me calm. After a while it was time for them to wheel me to the OR. I remember laying on the bed being wheeled to a different part of the hospital. It got really cold. It seemed like forever before we reached the OR, but in all reality, I'm sure it was just a minute or so. At this point, I began to cry almost uncontrollably. I don't remember much from the OR besides that I was so cold.

A few hours later I woke up in this giant recovery room. I had the sweetest lady by me. She spoke with a really soft and gentle voice. Kind of reminded me of my grandma. I was so groggy and they really needed me to wake up. I would open my eyes for about 30 seconds and then fall back asleep for five minutes. Repeat for two hours. I am so glad they were updating my husband as much as they could because I'm sure he was nervous, whether he wants to admit it or not.

After two hours in recovery I was given the okay to be taken to my room. As I'm being wheeled there, I realize we are following my husband, my dad, step-mom and little sister. It was nice having them there, but honestly, I don't remember much of their visit. They brought me some magazines, a really cute cup (that I can't use yet because there's a straw in it, booo) and the most amazing chapstick ever.

My mom was watching my son that day and picked my daughter up from kindergarten that afternoon. On their way to the hospital, they stopped and picked out some flowers.

The rest of that Wednesday is kind of a blur. I remember my husband, kids and mom being there. I also remember vomiting that afternoon. Definitely don't recommend that. Can you say 'ouch'?! My brother and his wife came to visit after they got out of work and I was a tad more awake then, but still pretty out of it. Once my visitors left for the night, my nurse informed me that my oxygen was low. Not dangerously low, but I had just strained myself trying to talk to so many people at once. So I had to go back on oxygen for a while.

Totally cannot believe I'm sharing this picture. It was one thing to post it to Facebook while I was still all doped up, but I haven't been on my pain meds in a week now. Surgery makes you a hot mess.

Once my levels were stable again, I was focused on my recovery and getting the hell out of there. I know I was going to have to stay for two days after surgery, and I also knew that walking would help tremendously in my recovery. So I walked. And I walked and I walked and I walked. It felt good to be up out of bed and on my own two feet. The nurses were really impressed with how I was recovering. After I walked and walked, I went back to my room to get ready for bed. Husband and I texted quite a bit that night too. I missed him and the kids a ton.

I thought that perhaps with all the wonderful pain medicine they pumped into me that day I would sleep really well, but that was about a joke. They were in every half hour to check my blood pressure, etc. Once I finally got into bed it was about midnight (yeah, I decided to go back out and walk some more.) I laid wide awake in my bed until 1 am. Fell asleep around two, and by 4 I was wide awake then. Once my nurse came in to check my vitals and give me some more meds, I asked if I could move to the rocker chair in the corner. I actually slept for a couple hours there. I would have stayed sleeping but this damn fire alarm kept going off. For like, THREE freaking hours.

Bright and early Thursday morning the surgeon came to visit and check and on me. He was very impressed with how I was doing and said that as long as I passed my x-ray thing. Which was disgusting by the way. I got into a wheelchair and had some teenage girl wheel me to the opposite end of the hospital, hitting every bump on the way. I then had to stand up in front of a machine, and they gave me this small Dixie cup with some of the nastiest liquid I have ever tasted in my life. If you can imagine what medicated dish soap tastes like, that is what it tasted like. It was well worth it though because it showed that my stomach had no leaks and I was then upgraded to stage 2 of my post-OP diet.

I had many more visitors, phone calls and cards delivered on Thursday. It really made me happy to know that so many people love, care and support me. As wonderful as that was, it felt just as wonderful to have my IV unhooked from me, and I was able to give myself a sponge bath and put some 'real' clothes on. By real clothes, I mean stretchy maternity capris and a long sleeved t-shirt.

By Friday morning I was feeling so incredibly much better. I actually was able to get nearly 12 hours of sleep from Thursday into Friday! I felt good enough to bust out of the hospital! My husband came and got me while my mom watched my son. It felt AMAZING to be home again!

This past Wednesday marked two weeks post-surgery. I am happy to say that I am recovering very nicely. I would say I'm about 95% back to normal, or at least what normal was for me. I will admit that the first week was pretty rough, mostly due to the drain I had coming out of me, the pain from the gas they pumped into me during surgery, and I don't always do so well on pain medicine.

I'll tell you what though, as soon as that drain was removed at nearly a week out, I felt loads better. (Okay, maybe not IMMEDIATELY, but shortly after.) My mom drove me to my one week follow up appointment and after, we went and did a little clothes shopping. I found an adorable shirt I loved on clearance. Tried it on in my size, and actually needed a smaller size. I about cried!

Here's a picture of me at one weeks post-surgery. I think I look so much better!

With each passing day I am getting stronger and stronger. For the first time in a long time, I can honestly say that I am really proud of myself. This stage of the post-OP diet has proved to be incredibly difficult for me and it's only been two weeks. I should be bumped up to the next stage any day now, and fingers crossed it goes a bit better. It's just so hard to be around and preparing food for others knowing that I can't eat it. I have been so strong though. I went through, and continue to go through major body changes (not to mention the surgery cost a pretty penny) and I really don't want to screw this up.

If I told you I haven't thought this was a bad idea, I'd be lying. Especially that first week. I wasn't in a great deal of pain after surgery at all, but it was still just really difficult to be the wife and mom that I'm used to being. I couldn't (and still can't really) pick my son up. I tried playing outside with the kids, and I felt my stomach muscles in ways that were not good. I had to sleep in a recliner for over a week. I ended up with an even more sore neck and shoulders because of this.

The craving feeling totally sucks. I don't even feel hungry, and really the main thing right now is to just make sure I drink enough to stay hydrated. I know I'm not getting the protein amounts they want, but I'm slowly working on it. I bought a bag of some new protein powder tonight and I'm hoping it will help me tremendously in working towards my protein goals.

I'm very lucky that I had the surgery when I was fairly young. I hear of older people having it done, and granted by then they usually have the co-morbidities that come along with obesity, but I just could not imagine recovering this nicely from such a major surgery at an older age. I mean, less than 12 hours out of surgery I was up out of bed, holding on to my IV pole and walking the halls of the hospital.

I haven't seen the fabulous weight loss that I hear everyone talking about, but with what I lost before surgery and what I've lost since, I'm at a total of roughly 35 pounds. Still have a long way to go, but I know once I am fully healed, I can start working out, and walking, and as long as I stick to the doctor's orders, I should start shedding the extra weight in no time. I'm glad that most of the recovery (at least the physical portion) is behind me and now I can concentrate on the new and improved Amanda.

I'm Alive

Surgery went great today and so far, nothing major has gone wrong. I'm in some pain (mostly just one incision) and I was kind of pukey this afternoon, but now I'm better. I'm so excited to start my new life!

Waiting

I have been at the hospital for nearly two hours now and should be going back for surgery within a half hour or so. I'm fairly nervous. I had to be poked 3 or 4 times for my IV. I bled all over the place. I keep telling myself it will be okay and everything, but I'm so nervous that I don't know if I'm convincing myself. I will try to update as soon as I can. :)

Lucky Girl

As I sit here, the night before my surgery, I am reflecting on how I have so many amazing people in my life. My ever supportive family have gone above and beyond anything I could have expected. I have some of the most wonderful friends ever. They have said such sweet things to me these last few weeks, and I appreciate every single word. Even people I am not friends with have said such sweet things and have offered their thoughts and prayers during my surgery and recovery. A special thank you to my friends who have actually gone through the weight loss surgery and have spent so much time answering all of my annoying questions. I am so thankful that I have had the opportunity to talk to people who have been through this and tried to prepare me for the good, the bad and the ugly. It really warms my heart to see such an outpouring of love from everyone. If you are one of those amazing people, thank you. From the bottom of the heart, with every ounce in my body, thank you.

I have to say a huge thank you to my husband and children. I cannot even find the right adjectives to describe them. To say they are amazing is such an understatement. The three of them have always shown me unconditional love and their support is almost overwhelming at times. I love them all so incredibly much, and whenever I have moments of doubt and reconsider surgery, I just think that I'm doing this for them. My husband deserves a wife who will be around for the next fifty years. My children deserve a mother. I have had friends who have lost their parents at a young age, and I don't want that for my kids. I realize that there are no guarantees in life, and shit happens, but I at least have to take this chance to better all of our lives.

I love them all, with all of my heart.

24 Hours

'twenty twenty twenty four hours to go, i wanna be sedated'

Okay, not really. Have I mentioned how scared I am of being put under? I've never been put fully under (Does the 15 minutes for my endoscopy count?) My surgeon has assured me several times that I will wake up when surgery is over, and not a moment before. I'm still nervous though and will be for a couple days I am sure.

Emotional

I have been an emotional wreck lately. In an earlier post I mentioned how I'm a worrier, and that has not changed. It's only been worse. I'm pretty sure it's only going to get worse before it gets better.

I should be out of surgery in less than 24 hours!

Great News

My primary doctor signed the paper!! As long as my surgeon's office received the letter via fax I should be on for surgery Wednesday. To say I'm nervous would be an understatement.

Fingers Crossed

One of the requirements I need before I have surgery is to have my primary doctor sign a 'letter of recommendation'. This should actually be one of the first steps in the weight loss surgery process. However, since my primary doctor went on maternity leave the day after I dropped the paperwork off, I haven't been able to complete this portion. I am happy to say that after a couple months, my doctor is finally back to work today. I have an appointment today to discuss surgery and a couple of other things, and I am wishing, hoping and praying that she signs this dang paper. I do not want surgery to be delayed at all, and we are cutting it kind of close with my surgery date being just a couple days away. I have spoken with the nurses in the office over the last couple months and I guess the letter is all prepared. Literally all the doctor has to do is sign it. If you have some positive thoughts you can spare, send them my way today. I'm really nervous that the doctor won't sign the thing and I'll have to start this entire process over. If she won't sign it, I don't know what I'll do, but I'm pretty sure it will involve lots of crying in the middle of the office.

It Hit Me Tonight

This evening as I was saying goodnight to my two amazing kids and tucking them in to bed, it hit me. Although not common, there is a possibility this surgery could go horribly wrong. I am scared shit less that something terrible is going to happen. I've never really been put under, and that scares me. I have heard it is the best sleep ever, but it still doesn't help calm my worries. I am also afraid that the surgeons will nick some major vein and/or artery and I'll bleed out. The coordinator I've been dealing with throughout all this said that there's a good chance that when (if) I wake up, I'll be in the ICU. It worries me because it was in that ICU in that hospital where my grandpa passed away. Way too many bad memories associated with that place.

I spent a good portion of tonight crying into my awesome husband's absorbent shoulder. He doesn't even act like he's nervous, but I'm sure it will hit him the day of surgery. I know he's trying to be strong for me though. I've heard these feelings I'm experiencing are normal, and if I wasn't nervous, something would be wrong.

I have spent way too many hours on Google searching for 'death from weight loss surgery' and the likes. All of the websites have different numbers, but overall, they are pretty low. And it's not like I've never had surgery before; I have had two Cesarean sections. I had zero worries about them, and I'm sure the risk of dying during one of those is about the same as this surgery. Of course with those, I got to hold my sweet newborn babies right away. Also, it's not like I really wanted those. It wasn't elective surgery. This is. I know so many people think I'm insane for signing myself up for something like this.

I have so many wonderful friends that have spent a good portion of tonight trying to calm me down and assure me things will be okay. I have had friends who have done this surgery and years later they are alive and well. I know I won't die, but I still worry. I'm a worrier by nature.

I just have to keep telling myself that things will be okay. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to lose weight and be so flipping healthy. Finally. I deserve that. My husband deserves to have his wife around. My kids deserve their mom.

I have calmed down for the night, and as the clock prepares to read 1 AM, I think I'm done on here. My kids will be awake in less than six hours. Little stinkers don't know the meaning of sleeping in. Good thing they are so cute. :)

I Want To Be That Fat Again

I have always been overweight. It's never been a secret. Not like you can hide that. I remember many many years ago thinking 'Oh my god, I am SO fat.' Now I look back on those pictures and think about how much weight I have gained and how I'd do just about anything to be that 'fat' again.

spring 2001

summer 2011 (ugh)

I am rocking some pretty sweet Jack Skellington socks though.

I'm Probably Overreacting

Like most women, I tend to worry and overreact. It's just natural. Add that to being a mother, and it's taken to a whole new high. I am sooooooo nervous that something will go wrong with surgery. I don't want to die. But at the same time, if I continue down this path I'm on, it's just a matter of time before diabetes, heart disease, etc claims my life. I've weighed so many pros and cons in the last few months. I'm still convinced that weight loss surgery is the way to go to ensure the healthiest life for me. Like I said though, I'm so nervous something will go wrong with the surgery. I thought about writing letters to my kids that they can read one day just in case I don't make it out of the operating room. I told you I tend to overreact. I want them to know how much I love them, and how I'm doing this for them. They are my everything. Whenever I do anything in life, I think about how it will affect them. I love them so much. They are my world. I would die for them. I just hope it's not any time soon.

Officially

I am officially less than one week away from surgery! I'm excited and nervous and about a million other emotions. I've been doing a ton of research and part of that research included watching a video of the surgery. BIG mistake! I knew how it would work before watching, but OMG. I am officially freaked out.

The type of weight loss surgery I will be having is called a vertical sleeve gastrectomy. Basically what it does is removes most of your stomach so it's the size of a banana. There are no rerouting of the intestines or anything like that. I think, or rather, have been told, that it's a lot less complicated because of this. Here's hoping.

At my pre-OP appointment last week, my surgeon tried to put some fears to rest by telling me that he's never had a patient die on the operating table or anything like that. Hearing that was comforting for about three seconds until I blurted out "Well there's a first time for everything."

What the hell am I getting myself in to?!

Stupid Sterotypes

Pictures like the ones posted below disgust me.

I effing HATE how overweight people are always the ones that are lazy, sitting on the sofa stuffing their faces with cheeseburgers and Coke. Trust me when I say that I know several thin people who in fact shovel in junk food all day. I know several overweight people who eat super healthy.

Let's get this straight people. You can be healthy at any weight. You can be unhealthy at any weight. Not all overweight people are lazy junk foodaholics. Not all thin people are starving themselves to be that way.

Okay, rant over.

Getting Close

Surgery day is officially less than two weeks away!

I have done most of the major appointments required by both my insurance company and my surgeons. All that's really left is my class with the nutritionist/dietician later this week, an appointment with my primary doctor in a week (so she can sign this letter required for surgery, but that's another vent for another post.) and then I have to stop in to the lab for some routine blood work. Oh, and then there's that pesky pre-surgery diet.

This is common for all patients undergoing this type of surgery. The diet will be used to shrink my liver. If they open me up to do the surgery and my liver is too big, they can't work on the stomach. I'm doing what it takes because I do NOT want that happening. It was actually about a month ago when I started this pre-surgery diet. I haven't stuck to it as strict as I have to for the full 10 days before surgery. I haven't stuck to the diet as strictly as I am now, and I don't want to toot my own horn or anything, but....toot toot!

I have this sheet of paper that tells me what foods I can have and what ones I can't. It's a very low carbohydrate, high protein diet. Sticking to the diet hasn't been too hard because like I said in my last post, I'm a bit sick. It's kind of hard to eat when your throat is on fire. I need to drink protein drinks, and that has been really hard with my throat. I finally found a drink that I could stomach and then I wasn't able to drink it at all when I was at my worst. Now that my throat feels a lot better, I can tolerate it again.

The full pre-surgery diet is as follows:
*For 10 days before surgery, I must be on a low carb/high protein diet, drink only sugar free, non-caffeinated, non-carbonated beverages (pretty much everything but water!), and take a multivitamin every day (I really need should be taking those every day though.)
*I need to drink protein drinks, 40-50 grams of protein a day from these drinks. And they have to have a certain number of grams of protein and less than a certain number of sugar in each serving.

*Other foods allowed include: 4 ounces of lean meat, eggs or cheese daily. Non-fat or 1/2% milk (limit to 3 cups a day), unlimited cooked and raw veggies (of most veggies. high starch ones are off limits. think potatoes, corn, peas, and most squashes.)

*I can have these foods in unlimited quantities as well: Sugar free jello/pudding/popsicles, sugar free non-carbonated beverages, broth, herbs and spices.

*The foods I am to avoid are: all breads, cereals, pasta, rice, etc. Starchy veggies, and all fruit and juice.

I cannot even tell you how many salads I've had in the last month. It's starting to pay off though because at my appointment Thursday I was 13 pounds lighter than I was at my appointment four weeks ago.

I do miss my fruit though. My kids have been eating a ton of it lately, and I just want a nice bowl of fruit. I look forward to the day when I can join them in eating it and they can stop teasing me about it.

Mach Truck

I feel like I've been hit by one. I very rarely get sick but when I do, it can be bad. I woke up Monday feeling like crap and it's been worse. My throat feels like it is on fire. I finally yesterday went to urgent care (since my primary doc couldn't get me in until next week. Ugh.) My strep test came back negative but I still feel like shit, so I'm on an antibiotic for ten days. It's only been a day and a half and I feel so much better. I'm really hoping this doesn't delay my surgery at all. I'm currently sitting in the doctor's office for my pre-op appointment so I guess I will find out soon.

And this is really random, but since I'm so proud of it I feel like I have to share. Today marks four weeks (that is one month!) of no soda! Go me!!

I'm Not Crazy

"You're mad. Bonkers. Off your head. But I'll tell you a secret; all the best people are."

I had my psychiatric evaluation this past Tuesday. Just one more step to having surgery. I was fairly nervous as I have never had to talk to a psychiatrist before, and I was afraid of what could go wrong. (I'm seeing a common theme here.) I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I was pretty sure that at the end of the session I would come out in a straight jacket. My appointment was about two hours long and I am happy to report that at the end of my session, I was deemed 'normal, healthy and a bit boring'.

My doctor looked nothing like Lucy.

Like I mentioned, the appointment was a couple hours long, but most of it consisted of taking a test (567 true/false questions. A sample question is posted below.) and then after that, the doctor looked over my answers and we had an 'interview'.

Turns out I was nervous for nothing! Dr. Z told me he'd send the report to my surgeon and will be mailing me a copy as well. I'm thinking about framing it and putting it on the wall.

Crazy

I go for my psychiatric evaluation tomorrow. Part of me is nervous, but mostly not. I mean, I'll be the first to admit that I can get a little crazy from time to time, but I'm still not worried. A good friend had this surgery a while ago and needed a psych evaluation as well. She said that if she passed, I will do just fine. I sure hope so.

I have found myself singing this song a lot these last couple days.

Another One Bites The Dust!

Thursday I had an endoscopy. I was super scared and on the verge of tears because I was so nervous. It was another one of those little hurdles I must jump on my way to surgery. I wasn't able to drive myself home after the procedure so my ever supporting mom waited with my little boy.

We arrived by 10 am, and was scheduled to go back to the procedure room at 11 am. I had filled out all of my paperwork at home, so I got to my room fairly quick. Lots of standard questions and what not and then it was time to change. Fun fun. I had to take my shoes and shirt off and was given this sexy hospital gown to wear.

I had to take my wedding rings off as well as take my nose piercing out. I was pretty concerned that the hole would close up. (In 2008 I had my nose pierced as well and after a couple months had to take it out. It closed up completely within an hour.) Shortly after this it was time for the IV. I don't think I've mentioned this, but I have a huge needle phobia. (Yes I have tattoos. Yes I have piercings. It's so not the same.)

Ouch! I must say that it didn't hurt nearly as bad as a tattoo or piercing, but still, it wasn't fun. I think it was mostly because the tape hurt and it would sometimes tug on my skin and there wasn't much room for the tube to move. Even though it was slightly uncomfortable, the worst part (so far!) was just waiting and waiting and waiting. Luckily, I am part of a really fantastic group on Facebook and the other members managed to keep me company while I waited.

After what seemed like an eternity, I was finally wheeled back to the procedure room. I remember waiting outside and was freezing cold. It was odd as normally I am not that cold. But I guess when you're laying there in a paper thin hospital gown you tend to feel the cold more than normal. The nurse asked a million questions to make sure I knew who I was and if I knew what was going on, etc. She ended up asking where I was from and if I knew so and so. Apparently she worked with my mother in law at one point. Small world.

This is where details get kind of hazy. I remember them asking me to bite down on a mouth guard, and the nurse mentioning that she was now putting something into my IV. My eyelids get very heavy. Next thing I know, I'm awake in the procedure room and my nurse asks "That wasn't so bad was it?" It wasn't that bad in all honesty. The worst parts were the nasty throat numbing spray (seriously, barf) and then having some bits of my memory wiped out. (Which, I realize it's probably a good thing I don't remember the actual procedure. I mean, a tube was shoved down my throat.) I remember being awake after the endo in the procedure room, but I don't remember being wheeled back to my room.

I was in my room for about a half hour after when I was given the okay to leave. The doctor came in and said that they did remove something because it looked like I had some irritation in my stomach. I also have a small hiatal hernia, but that can and most likely be repaired during surgery. I should be hearing back with the results from the biopsy later this week or early next week. Fingers crossed it's nothing major.

All in all, it really wasn't that bad. I hope I don't need another one, but if I do, I know what to expect and won't worry so much. I am so thankful to my mom for driving me and watching my son, and I am so very thankful for all of the hilarious women who kept me company on Facebook while I waited and waited in the hospital. :)

Next stop will be my psychiatric evaluation on Tuesday. I really wasn't too nervous about that, but then I received a packet of paperwork from the office. So many questions already, and I haven't even talked to the doctor! They said I should expect to be there for at least 2 hours, possibly closer to 3. Awesome. Bring it on.